Deciding

Today, is the beginning of the Add and Drop Session in Centre for Foundation Studies, International Islamic University Malaysia (CFS IIUM). I'm seriously in the verge of everything that's negative. Part of have this sense of giving up, but clearly I don't have the luxury to let go of anything right now. 

I am someone who are totally in to something when I'm at it. Unfortunately, I've got myself into way too much "it" to actually be "at it". I have a lot of things to sort out. It's not that big though. It's just that each of this "too much" have a meaning to me for I have reasons to be involved in all of them at the first place. Many says I'm pushing myself too hard. Then I wonder, is it really like that? Or is it just me being held up by my laziness up till now? I have this feeling of I can pull them off if I really try. 

I'm pretty much confused. Don't have much to say. I decided to calm myself first for now, and sort things out. I hope I 'll make the right decision. All is well. Assalamu'alaikum. (Peace be upon you)

A Little Goes A Long Way

Morning~

I believe it's time to clean up my dusty blog as I have completely ignored it for the past "decade". Myahaaha. XD One advice: Treasure your time. You'll never know when you'll regret not doing so. Hrm.. Anyway, I have been through a lot .Why? It's already 2013. Heh. Guess I'm the only one who writes the so called new year's post almost 2/3 of the January. It's not that sad. Al least I have plenty to say now. Myahaha... X3

Okay now. How to start this.. Hrm... I learnt a lot. Yeah. That's the right one. Academics helps, yes, but learning in sense of how to actually connect yourself with others. How to be honest and be accepted. To learn how to interact, to make friends. How to be close to ones that are dear to you. How to open up. How to take issues not by drifting into things to our own emotions. And most importantly, how to improve. It has been quite a year for me. I can totally say that the me right now, is a brand new me. Okay. The new improved me. That's more like it. Hehe.

One thing that I'd like to share is, never to expect yourself to be 100% perfect the moment you decided to change to the better. I've got to admit that I am a perfectionist when it comes to my outcomes. Academically, how to behave, competing. I had this issue of not forgiving myself, blaming myself if something did not go to plan. In turn I got the reward- I am useless. More or less that's the kind of self esteem that I had. Not that everyone saw that though. Alhamdulillah (Thank Allah) it was all in the past now.

Okay, as I'm saying, do not be too hard on yourself. If we want to change for the better, take a step. Don't take a leap. Even if it is so minor, just a little step, seemingly trivial compared to others, hang on. That little step is worth it. Why? Because that step may not be big, but it is a prove of you changing. Fact: You are changing. And that's it. From that very first firm step, you'll find yourself walking. Just like I am right now. Plus, NEVER DO IT ALONE. I tried.. Many times that I was at the verge of giving up. Then I learn, slowly, to accept others. I am happy. And I really mean it. 

This year, I intended to move forward. Yes, I may be slow paced compared to others who are already way to good for me to even stand side by side for now, but, as long as I'm moving, it's okay enough for me, for I know that a little goes a long way. =)

Toumei Datta Sekai

Wondering what's that suppose to mean? "It Was A Transparent World". Got this song from my friend, Nisa. Those who love Naruto would know this. I've been hearing this song quite a while. Truly I don't know Japanese that fluent so I was wondering what was the story behind it. (I mean, it's good. I can feel the song right through.) Well, I got these from several websites (Self editing afterwards too):

What was it that I truly lost on that day?

I've  forgotten long ago.

In the twilight, the two of us,

little by little, 

become unnoticed,

What's more; we were unable to return home.

Somewhere is my seemingly

broken and fragile heart.

behind strong words, 

covered and hidden

It's covered and hidden.

Farewell, 

Although we couldn't be together,

I'll will carry on with this wounds.

Where you no longer exist;this world.

I will run,

passing through each day's pain.

I'll pass them through.

Broken fragments of glass,

the scent of grassy places,

the wounds of summer,

hey, where are you now?

Unnoticed, the once perfectly clear water,

had become a muddy one. 

when you noticed that,

I too have grown up.

The water's surface wobbled, 

diffusing my reflection.

A light still shining through, 

shining through.

Farewell, 

we waved hands that day

Right now, even you must have changed.

And yet, I’m still living

Overcoming my urge

to cry in the night.

What was it I REALLY lost on that day?

Farewell, 

Although we couldn't be together,

I will carry on with these wounds.

I’ll make the world run.

The future I once saw,

how should I surpass that?

Surpassing that..

Somehow, songs that I like despite being clueless of its meanings do ended up having meanings close to my heart. I'm glad... =)

Mid Sem Exam... Oh! Raya!!

Hye there! Hrrmm.. It has been a while, isn't it? Heh. I'm so packed with various programme. Fortunately I'm not that packed for the next few days. (Or is it becoming more packed?) Why? Exam week!! Huhu.. If I'm not mistaken I've been through college life for about 2 months by now. . It's about time Mid Semester Exam arrives. Hehe.

For those who are not aware, I'm studying at Centre For Foundation Studies, International Islamic University Malaysia. I'm taking English for International Communication Course. College life is pretty much like a marathon. Some days are just too much to handle, where you'll found yourself running errands till late of night. Some days, are way too relaxing that you actually feel weak-side effect of sleeping all day. =P

My exam slip ^.^

            It will not be long before exam starts. I'll have exams on 10 and 11 of August 2012. One is Basic Themes of Al-Quran (BTQ) and another will be Computer One. (By the way, I did badly in my Computer One  quizzes so I'm really worry) I just bought BTQ's book today (did not have budget before) and I am looking forward to studying with a proper book. Hehe. For the Computer subject, well, I don't intend to buy one. I'll make personal notes by borrowing my friend's. Let's hope my efforts bears its fruits later, okay? =)

Another thing to bear in mind.. I'll be having Mid Sem break for Raya!! The truth is that I can go home as soon as I finished my exams but.. IIUM ticket that I bought will be leaving on either 13 of August or 14 of August. I still haven't received any confirmation on that but either ways, Kemaman wait for me!! >.<

Congratulations!! ^.^

Hyep!! I just heard that UPU results for the STPM 2011 students has just come out. I dedicate this to all my seniors. CONGRATULATIONS!!! 

I really wish each and everyone of you a good luck. I have embarked my journey in Centre for Foundation Studies International Islamic University Malaysia. (CFS IIUM) and it seems that all of you are going to forge your own separate paths now. Though it might not seem so but I always remember all of you and prayed so that all of you in a great well being. I hope our ukhwah remains and not separated by boundaries of time and regions. 

All the best!! 

Dedicated to: Hafiz Adha, Ali Mars, Aizat Mazri, Azwan Azmi, Musafir Ilmu, Firdaus, Fakroul, Ryff Remy, Zulhilmi, Kak Radia, Kak Jaja, Kak Diba, Kak Asnida, Kak Farina, Kak Alyani, dan semua pelajar Tingkatan Enam SMK Sultan Ismail 2011!! >.<

MeOw~ =3

Hyep!!

How was your day? Hehehe.. See the title above? What do you think? ^.^

To those who doesn't know me personally, be informed that I am a true cat lover. >.<

I have been in love with them since forever! Haha. =P They, to me, is the cutest animal in the planet. Cats can make me become "Aww.. How cute!!".

For now, I have four cats that is dear to me. (I raised and loved more than that of course) One was Qittun (Arabic word that stands for kitten) and another was Putih (Malay translation for white). 

Qittun, is the cat that I once raised from a little kitten to adulthood. I was twelve when my father dumped him to a market. One day he just stopped eating. He is a really loyal and strong cat. I remember my sister, Basyirah  (who was just a baby back then) was saved from being bitten by a snake thanks to his brave act of killing it. I miss him..

 Putih, she is also a strong female cat. She was dumped last year (perhaps because she was already an old cat) to my housing area. I feed all straying cats that came to my door so I came to know her that way. The odd thing is, she never eats if someone else (like my father) tried to feed her. Fortunately she never refuse what I gave her for a meal. 

There are many males around and each tried to flirt with her. Guess what? She fought each and every one of them. I respected her for that. She was strong-that's what I thought of her.

will you go out with me? *.*

The sad part of the story is, I was away for a few days due to school activity. Since she never eat what my father gave her, he thought that she was helpless to be around. She was sent to a market, (T_T) with a thought that she can feed herself there (since food are plenty at markets). I was devastated. =(

Seeing me sad, my father felt obligated to bring new cats home for me. (It was nice of him although a certain cat can never just replace another- they creates new space to be loved) Then comes the third cat that is dear to me-Kiko!! ^.^

Currently he is the dominant cat in this area. Hoho. Back when he was little he was constantly being bullied. He grew up being a considerate cat. Why? Ahem ahem. He got himself a female (my father brought her home too. Her name is Stella-named by her former owner) Stella is under my Basyirah's care. You see, Kiko and Stella has babies of their own. Four of them!

Kiko and Kontot sleeping..

Kiko, as I told you, is a dominant cat around. Usually dominant cats are fierce-even to young kittens. They tend to treat other cats as their enemy. Kiko is no such cat. He sometimes played with his kittens, never fight with them over food, and always being so baby like around me. Hehe. He even sleeps with his kittens! What a loving cat father he is.. (Sob.. Sob..) See why I described him being a considerate cat  now? Hehe

Aww.... =3

His four kittens, is pretty much alike in colours. The eldest is Koko, followed by Chiko a.k.a. Kontot, then comes the third, Manja a.k.a. Stokin, than comes Leper the youngest of them! (The females are ones who has the "a..k.a."s)

Kontot and Leper..

I got attached to Leper the most. Why? Back when he was a baby my sister accidently stepped on him. His ribs was flatten a bit. (That's why he was named Leper, meaning, flat) He was very weak. I fear of him dying everyday. Now, he is the fattest among them. ^.^ Oh! Leper, he fills the last spot of my four dear cats. Hehe.

Leper!! =3

I willl be going to CFS IIUM (Centre of Foundation Studies, International Islam University Malaysia) on 3rd of June. Even now, when I looked at them I was like "Can I perhaps kidnap you to CFS?". I wonder what they will be like when I return 4 months later. Huhu.. I really gonna miss them. So much! May all things went out well for both them and myself. 

 That's all for now.. (It's longer than I expected..) Thanks you for reading this. Assamualaikum..

Once Upon An Anime.. XD

I have posted before that i'm an anime fan. I've lived 18 years by now, and none has taken Gundam Seed as my top anime in my heart. I've got to say that it's a coincidence that I even know about Gundam Seed. It's kinda funny to me.

It was Sunday morning and I was just 10 back then (In other words, we were kids). My siblings and I were watching Spongebob when suddenly my brother wanted to check out other channels. (Spongebob was on TV3). I wanted to watch Spongebob! We had a small fight and he won.. -_-". Huhuk..

He switched to TV2 and (TA-DA!!) Gundam Seed was on. It was the final 5 minutes of the anime but I was love strucked. I can't really explain but I just have this feeling of "I need to see this". My brother got bored in less than a minute and left. Haha.

*One week later

Khair: I wan't to watch Gundam!!! >.<
Brother: You wanted Spongebob last week! Let's watch that! =@
Khair: NO!! (Taking control of the remote)

*Switching channel*

Khair: ^.^
Brother: @#$% ~~~

Gundam Seed Final (Season One)

That was the Grand Begining of me becoming a Gundam Seed fan. Haha. =P Seriously though. I've watched other Gundam as well-Gundam 00, Gundam Zero, etc.- but none has the complication and relations between characters of both sides (that were on war against each other) like Gundam Seed does.

I love quality anime that have broad themes discussed in the story line and well shown by its characters. The story line itself sometimes are overwhelming. Do it right, and the message sticks to the fans heart. I think anime really is just another way to convey ideas to the public. I saw that many anime fans are able to express theories and ideas in animes, and propose ways to actually made it into something real.

Sometimes the arguments that pass along due to different understandings of the story itself really wowed me. Some animes carry heavy meaning and ideas that is put into a way that many can understand with the story line and the roles of each characters. It makes anime much more interesting to explore when I looked it that way. Hehe.

Lelouch Grand Ending. It's really sad..

Of course, Gundam Seed is not the only anime that I love. Others include Code Geass:Lelouch of the Rebellion, Detective Conan, Naruto, etc. (If I list them all, its going to take forever. Hehe.)

Gundam Seed Final Plus (Season Two-really ended. Huhuk)

I think that's it for now. I've had this serious headache which I can't really explain why. When things turn out this way I just keep using my brain more-to make the pain goes away. It didn't affect my studies much. Just a little slow in absorbing what's necessary. Urgh.. It's not really serious like I'm in ICU or anything. It's just disturbing (I've got much to learn!). Heh. I hope it goes away fast. Anyways I wish all of you best of your days on. Assalamualaikum. =)